http://www.tmz.com/2014/04/16/wu-tang-rapper-andre-johnson-penis-cut-jump-suicide/ 


You know.  I really think that chopping off the penis wasn't the way to go here.  That'd be weird man.  Jus  sitting there and your buddy cuts off his junk and jumps out the window.  It would of blown my mind up.

 Jumping out the window.  OK, I get that.  But chopping of the penis.  I don't get it.  Did he think he would hit the ground and bleed out?  Did he cut off hid junk in front of his friends...the panc and jump out the window?  That's some weird confusing shit right there.

Here's a video of the dogs eating snacks.

I am sitting here watching Sam and Cat, again.  I'm too lazy to get the remote.  Which is strategically placed FIVE feet away from me. Its cool they have a show about teen lesbians.
Sam just puked in Cat's pee pot.

  Its captivating.
 

 

I'm having a bad hair day.

My hair has reached that phase.  The one where you either cut it, or let it grow  I have so much hair.  It is fine, but thick.  Its also heavy.  Coming up on summer time.  With long hair.  I have to get it cut.  I'm not going to go with the spiky look.  When I weighed 150 it was ok. Well better than ok.  It was hot. Its ok.  I say you looking.  But, since I have gained 20 pounds. With the chubby look I'm rockn' I look more like a chubby butchy lesbian with spiked hair.  One doesn't wanna look to Butchy.  You knw if I ever started going bald.  I would get an addadicktome.     Plus I don't own a comb or brush.

Johnny Weir isn't getting a divorce.  These are a list of things that will not be tolerated.

 -- sex outside the marriage
-- oral sex outside the marriage
-- kissing or making out
-- sexting
-- aggressive flirting
-- mutual masturbation
-- social media/grindr/dating
They also have to take a STD tests every 6 months with the results being read with both in the room.

Why the hell is this news?  Does that mean they can't facebook?

So, I walked into the bar last night.  This black dude named Leroy jumped up and yelled.  Girl you smell good.  Will you be my girl friend. You really, really smell good.
 I think I might be dating Leroy, now.  He was very nice and very cute.  We talked chatted for a while.  Then I met a dude named Todd.  He wants to 'hook up' 
Such is my life as a sexual dynamo.  I was wearing a visor , blue  camouflage shorts and a sweatshirt.  Looing like a scrub.  I might should go out like that more often.      

I also blew a .04 on the breathalyzer.  The bar has one.  I didn't get a free ride in a police car.
It cost two dollars.  So after three Bellini's and 10 pixie stix in six hours.  I was still legal to drive.