You know I have all these Cousins and Aunts and Uncles that I barely know. It pisses me off. My cousins Jo and Michelle never met em. Well I met them. But I was like three. Don't really remember them.

It was my ma's fault. I'm have been pissed me off at her for a long time. But now she is dead. How the hell are you supposed to be pissed off at a dead person? I need a shrink or more booze maybe some weed. When I moved to Cali to meet her. I was so excited to see her. It was kind of a let down. I had built her up so much in my mind. I didn't understand til I had kids of my own how much she actually sucked ass. I could never imagine leaving my children. My husband said everytime he listens to Fancy by Reba it makes him want to cry. Because it reminds him so much of what my mom did to me.

There are so many emotions that are just like fucking ARRGGGHHH. That's how it feels. Like a aching arrrggghhh. Does that make sense? Its like I have all these people that are family and I don't know them. I know people that I haven't seen in ten years better then I know these people. Fucking A!

I am so thankful for the Dyer's they saved me. They beat the hell out of me on a regular basis. In the 7th grade my PE teacher turned them in. I went to live at the Methodist Home for two years. It was actually a relief. I loved it there. But then they sent me back. The same shit continued. But I guess I should be thankful for them. The taught me some values and what is like to be dedicated to a family no matter what. They helped make me who I am today.

And I fucking Rock Ass.
do i seem bitter?