I don't just mourn my moms death. I mourn every second I was separated from her. Every experience we were not allowed to share. I mourned every skinned knee, every tooth lost, every holiday, every birthday. I mourned her from the age of 4 to 21 years old. When I did fnd her. I mourned for the love she never could really show me.
I also fell anger at her for abandoning me. I fell angry with her because of all those missed experiences. I was just a little kid.
I have mourned for her for all my life. . Wonder how that feels. Mourning someone for fourty years. Mourning them alone. Mourning them in a house where you were not allowed to mention their name. See a picture of them. Try that one for size.
What happened to me was not my fault. It seems to me I am just a reminder for something people don't want to be reminded of..