I don't just mourn my moms death. I mourn every second I was separated from her. Every experience we were not allowed to share. I mourned every skinned knee, every tooth lost, every holiday, every birthday. I mourned her from the age of 4 to 21 years old. When I did fnd her. I mourned for the love she never could really show me.
I also fell anger at her for abandoning me. I fell angry with her because of all those missed experiences. I was just a little kid.
I have mourned for her for all my life. . Wonder how that feels. Mourning someone for fourty years. Mourning them alone. Mourning them in a house where you were not allowed to mention their name. See a picture of them. Try that one for size.
What happened to me was not my fault. It seems to me I am just a reminder for something people don't want to be reminded of..
2 comments:
Dani, I know a little bit of how you feel as I was not allowed to mourn my mother around my father after she died in 1996. I'm not allowed to mention her name or bring up any memory of her.
Know that I have always loved you as a friend and as a sister and always will. I wish I could take away your pain and make it all better, sweetie.
I love you girl. Thanks for being you!
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